Dear Bus Driver
Friday, May 27, 2005
ear Vicks,Please send me the 2 DayQuil pills that you shorted me and a note explaining why you waste that one pill slot. Is it for the robot machines that handle my drugs?
Dear Aborigines,
Circular breathing is impossible. What other lies will you have my believe?
Dear roommates,
The trash and the area around the trash are not the same thing. You're getting closer but still not quite getting it. Are we going to have to have another apartment meeting?
Dear Powerball drawing person,
These are the numbers to pick tomorrow night. I will split the $200 million with you.
Dear centipede,
What is so good about the kitchen floor? Oh yeah, that's where my roommates put their food.
Dear girl who lives downstairs,
Where have you gone? The apartment managers keep putting notices on your door. I hope they would know if you're living there or not. I hope you aren't dead because you were cute. Knock on your ceiling twice if you are not dead and make spooky moans 5 times if you have become a ghost.
Dear Sporting News,
The name you are sending this magazine to is not a real person's name. When I move out, your crappy weekly magazine will not be following me. You should demand your money back from FHM for selling you a fake name. I'll never sign up for a free magazine on the internet again.
Dear 40-year-old man who is frustrated with his job and life,
You have my full permission to beat the shit out of my kids if they ever talk to you like this because I have obviously failed at being a parent. I will thank you personally when I bring my child to the jail to apologize to you, you crazy crazy old man.
Dear Jack Daniels,
posted by Ghengis @ 8:27 PM,
3 Conflict(s):
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At May 30, 2005 at 8:46 AM,
My Life In Indiana has news of...
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Your blog always brightens my day.
And yea, I fell victim to a "Click-it-or-ticket" enforcement zone...Which I should probably have figured out the cops send us press releases with the exact dates/times/places of each one in advance, I just stopped reading them since I always wear my seatbelt:) Bad thinking I guess!
But I figure they put the real lackeys on seatbelt enforcement duty since we've had so many shootings recently, and I'm hoping they put the experienced cops in charge of something more important like keeping our city safe...I hope.
Have a fun Memorial Day! -
At May 31, 2005 at 9:21 AM,
Lisa has news of...
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I would have to agree with Lisa #1... very entertaining =)
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At June 1, 2005 at 12:58 AM,
Ghengis has news of...
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Thanks. You are my favorite Lisas right now. Even more than the Lisa that is our waitress at the bar we usually go to on Wednesdays - and she brings me beer.
You should always wear your seatbelt. In one of the nearby village towns they had a ticket enforcement area. I think they had all the town cops there checking the seatbelts of those who entered the village. The villagers pulled out lawnchairs and watched because cop zones are a spectator sport in the village.
