The Mongolians: May 2007

FREE SONG LYRICS Fergie Glamorous Lyrics FREE SONG LYRICS
Wednesday, May 23, 2007

Every Fergie song always makes me think of food. I swore the lyrics to My Humps was:

"She's got me spin-dip
Oh, spinach avacodos on me
and spinach chips on me"

I also thought that a Fergalicous would probably make a pretty damn good steak sandwich.

But the song that every girl has on their myspace page has subconsciously forced me to drive to Taco Bell on more than one occasion. I broke the subliminal code of the song. Don't let your free will be taken over by the music or your stomach may hate you forever.

"TacoBell" by Fergie
(feat. Ludacris)

If you all want some tacos bring your drunk ass down
You say: If you all want some tacos bring your drunk ass down
T-A-C-O-B-E-L-E-L, yeah T-A-C-O-B-E-L-E-L
T-A-C-O-B-E-L-E-L, yeah T-A-C-O-B-E-L-E-L

[B-Section:]
We trashed on Wednesday
Up in the bar
Poppin' tequila
And maybe Highlife
Now we hungry
And I want my change
At the TacoBell, oh the crunchy crunchy

[chorus:]
The Tacobell,
The TacoBell, TacoBell (the TacoBell life)
By the TacoBell, oh the crunchy crunchy

[Verse:]
Order guac and sour cream
Everything with extra cheese
Chalupas and lemonade
Stopping for Bellgrandes
I be at the drink machine
Munchin on my Crunchwrap supreme
They don't clean, floors of slime
Make it lean, how bout this line?
I still work at Taco Bell
Lobby, what's that smell?
Grilled Stuft, make me squeal
No matter how many burritos they sell
After the show or at the Track meet
I like to cool out with a Baja Blast
Sippin', reminiscing on days when I had a Meximelt
And now I'm in...

[B-section then chorus]

[Ludacris:]
I'm talking Cinnamon twi-i-ists, Apple Empana-adas
You deserve nothing but all the spicy thi-i-ings
Now this whole world has no clue what a pizza is
I've got enough money on this card for the value stuff
Plus I gotta keep enough lettuce
To support your taco fetish
Lifestyles so hot and zesty
Robin Leach will get gorditas
Half a buck for the soft shell
Taking trips from here to Dong
So If you all want some tacos bring your drunk ass down
T-A-C-O-B-E-L-E-L, yeah T-A-C-O-B-E-L-E-L

[B-section + chorus x2]

[Verse:]
I got drive thru duty here
I've got people in my ear
Wanting all these crazy things
That we don't even sell (cheeseburger)
I've got no money in the bank
And I'd really like my break
For all the beer I'd like to drank
Thank you come again
Cause I remember yesterday
When I dreamt about the days
When I'd work at Micky-D, that be really dope
Damn, It's been a long road
And the double decker's cold
My daddy wants nachos, he made his daughter go. [x3]

Best...
Wedding...
Ever...

posted by Ghengis @ 5:52 PM, ,

Dear Neighbor
Saturday, May 12, 2007

ear Trailer Park,

Thank you for making me aware of things such as cooked spaghetti being left out in the grass and hillbilly speed bumps.

I guess.

Trailer Park, thank you for sending your white trash friends to live in the house behind me.

I was thinking of building a fence but this will work too.

Trailer park! Your friends are turning my new fence into hay!

That's right. You didn't think you were going to be blogged about when you woke up at the crack of 2:30 this afternoon.

While the white trash neighbors were destroying, I was creating.

Braggin' on myself like Dr. Phil said to do.

Bonus: The bunnies are living and growing up in my plants. They are learning English but do not know that welcome mats are not always all inclusive.

Why do pests have to be so cute?

posted by Ghengis @ 9:06 PM, ,

Trading Cards for Demon Children
Tuesday, May 08, 2007

Most of the neighborhood kids are nice and considerate and make it pleasant enough to live around them. However, they are slowly being indoctrinated by the demon child next door. I like being outside, but for some reason I am fascinating to the demon child and he needs to inquire about everything I am doing. The peacefulness of the outdoors has been ruined by, not the kid, but his lazy parents who can't entertain him or teach him simple things like to not leave his scooter in the middle of my grass while I am mowing and then watch me mow from the grass in front of me that I am about to chop down. And I bet I'd get in trouble if ran him over!

His parents have also failed to show him the episode of Sesame Street where Oscar gets increasingly annoyed with Elmo when he comes into his garage without asking and asks what every single tool hanging from the wall does.

Last week the demon child convinced one of the other neighbor kids to help him kill a bunny. His strict parents kept him grounded inside for half of a day before re-releasing him into the wild. It was a nice half day.

I only have so many excuses I can use to convince the demon child to do something else and temporarily return peacefulness to the neighborhood. Since kids love to collect worthless junk, I made a series of trading cards to start passing out to the pester demons (not the nice ones). Do not try to collect them all.