You don't need a gun to go house hunting
Monday, March 21, 2005
In case you haven't heard, last week I made the snap decision to buy a house. The preceding sentence is misleading because I have neither decided on which house nor have I actually spent any money. I have narrowed down the field to what I want in a home. I've talked to a realtor and we have determined that I need something between
this:
Elmo's Anarchy Headquarters. Down with the government.
and this:
I haven't decided if tours should be guided or not.
So far I've received a lot of encouragement and support for my decision to grow up and buy. It's an investment. Interest rates are low. You'll be building equity. You won't be paying rent to someone you don't know. You get more land. It's actually cheaper. Tax advantages. "Would you like to come back to my house?" sounds better than "Hey I live in a dirty apartment". The advantages are endless.
I've only had one person try to regale me with a list of negatives. If I move into a house I'm not going to have a maintenance person do things for me like fixing the toilet or mowing the lawn. Staring incredulously, I proceeded cut all of my hair off into the shower drain only so I could clean it out on my own. I usually fix things around here on my own anyway. Why would I want to go cry to someone every time something breaks? This negative point goes into the positive pile.
I've put my roommates in a bad position because they only have just over a week to decide if they're going to stay or go. I've pretty much been convinced that I'd be retarded to pay rent anymore. I'm trying to help them feel better about my leaving by throwing parties every weekend. We had about 20 people here last night, fried 100 wings, and trashed the place until 4AM. If my roommate doesn't want me to leave I'm sure the neighbors will try to make it happen.
I might have screwed up by making the kitchen immaculate today though. I can't even scare people away right.
I'm going to be gone all this week however so the house hunt is going on pause. I hope when I come back there is more than this available on the market.
Not in the range I am looking for.
posted by Ghengis @ 12:22 AM,
,
Remote Control
Wednesday, March 09, 2005
In case any of you haven't heard:
I got it from the disability systems website. Must be going pretty rampant at that site. I had no idea that this malady even existed. This is a communicable disease that you get for linking to other websites and not using some kind of protection. You have to be careful who you download from these days because you can get some pretty nasty things that will ruin your computer life forever.
There are different approaches to how to stop this growing problem. There are sign carrying liberal groups out there screaming about how we need to give everyone protection against these internet diseases. They say, "Websites are going to link to one another anyway! Plus, you can't stop kids from going on the internet and downloading whatever they want. We have to give spyware and virus software to kids so they can go on the internet whenever they want and download whatever they want. This is the only way to stop internet diseases!"
Conservatives offer a different approach. I talked to the president today to find out what we can do to stop getting these diseases. "Well Ghengis, can I call you Genghis? All you need to do is unplug your computer. How many times have you got a troygan virus on an unplugged computer? You know? If it's sitting their doing nothing, it's not getting viruses or whatever. If you really need to download music or pictures you can call someone and have them sing to you or describe the picture. That method worked for like a billyun years before computers. Heh."
I'm not very good at internet etiquette so sometimes I make mistakes and do things that are not allowed. I realize now that I my actions could possibly have sucked a website's monthly 3Kb bandwidth dry and violated international copyright laws. I'm sorry.
I'm pretty flattered that a company would totally re-tool their website in order to post naughty words on this site. All I wanted was to promote the proper use of their products and make college kids stop being lazy. I even provided free ideas for implementing the pedestrian shocking device to the handicap buttons. Vigilantes just aren't appreciated these days.
Not until all of the doors are sealed.
posted by Ghengis @ 10:58 PM,
,
Almost Fameless
Wednesday, March 02, 2005
I remember when radio stations used to get sound bites from celebrities. The singer would leave a message kind of like, "Hey this is that guy with long hair from Creed and you're listening to my favorite radio station, 102.5 The Pimp!" That kind of stuff always got me really excited in high school and had everyone in the car screaming with joy over someone famous using words that means he was privy knowledge that only people from my city would have.
Lately the radio stations have gotten pretty lazy. Now they just have a bunch of singers reciting their name with a quick catch phrase and just skip the step where they mention the radio station. The radio is trying to trick me into thinking that those celebrities actually own special high powered radio receiving equipment that beams my local radio stations into their ears 24/7 from up to 2000 miles away so they can jam out to tunes while they're buying a new multimillion dollar house, trashing a hotel room, or annoying people at a political rally.
Well I've been keeping this a secret for awhile, but now I'm ready to tell everyone. There are a lot of famous people that actually read this weblog. It took a lot of convincing but I asked them all to write in testimonials to be posted here. Here they are.
"Hey guys this is Britney Spears and I chain smoke and sip Jack D when I'm reading the Mongolian blog."
"Yo this is Fitty Cent rockin' out to the Mongolians, WHAT!"
"Harrison Ford here and I did not kill my wife to be with Ghengis on the Mongolians website."
"Hi this is Rachel Leigh Cook. Where did you get this email address?"
"Eddie Murphey here and the Mongolians are infinitely funnier than me. Ahe heh heh."
"This is Mel Gibson. Give me back my son!"
"What up? Eminem and I just found something new to hate on the Mongolians"
"Hi this is Paris (and Nicole!) and we are still stupid sluts but we read the Mongolians on my PDA while making naked pictures!"
"Yo my peeps! I'm John Kerry and I got me a huntin' license at The Mongolians dot blogspot dot com. Keep it tuned there."
You are amongst greatness.
posted by Ghengis @ 11:22 PM,
,
