Dreams from beyond
Monday, November 29, 2004
I wasn't going to post this because I thought it sounded pretty insane but then I remembered how important it is for people to read my dreams.
I nearly fell asleep today as I was driving around the city trying to create work for myself. When I got home I crashed into my bed immediately.
I have not taken a nap in a long time. My mind did not know what to do with all of this extra idle time so it decided to take this opportunity to mess with my helpless body by creating an unimaginable set of images and a twisted plot line to go along with it.
I was at an old house helping an old lady and her daughter. I think I was the gardener. For some reason I knew that the old lady was a demon so I decided I had to do away with her. I killed her and took her money in true Raskolnikov fashion. I don't know what happened to the daughter.
The next day (this is a multiple-day dream) I was a guest on a radio program discussing politics or something when a news break came out about the old lady being murdered. I knowingly looked into my wallet for the money. When I looked the money was gone! It was then that I figured that I had screwed up the heist in one way or anther and I had to go back to the scene of the crime and find where I had dropped the money. I hope I never become a criminal because I think my subconcious is trying to get me caught.
When I got back to the old lady's house I was suddenly dropped into hell. It was not fire and brimstone though. Hell was an office where I sat opposite the devil. He gave me a choice. I could either go burn with everyone else, or I could be his assistant in his devilish deeds. I agreed to be his assistant but I kept the intention in the back of my head that I would eventually betray the king of cunning and escape his service.
At this point the dream cut to a montage. I was sitting a bathtub, while the devil (who looked like Howie Mandel from Little Monsters) was washing my hair and reading a book to me in low light. We faded to playing cricket together. The devil was holding my hand through my swing since I've never played cricket and needed help. The scene ended with me blowing out the candles of a cake (probably devil's food cake! HA!). It was my one year devil training anniversary!
My first assignment was to watch the first circle of hell. People were milling around a dirty, industrial-looking square room. They had boulders chained to their arms and the chain was so short they had to hold it in their hands. Their punishment was to carrying the boulder until they graduated to a higher level. If you were good you had to carry a larger boulder, but you got to load that boulder onto a trailer and you had horses to draw the trailer.
There was another group in my jurisdiction. They had to carry a half half gallon (the old cardbord style) of milk cartons back and forth in the room. Some were given chocolate milk for good behavior. There were so many people in this group all they could do was shift back and forth in their limited elbow room. They were so smashed together, they looked like they were line dancing. Being forced to line dance and drink milk without pastries or cake is probably the worst hell punishment possible. The devil is cruel.
When I felt I had gained the devil's trust I tried to end my eternity of servitude. I walked to the Denver airport (it was the closest to hell) for my escape. Walking through the terminal, I caught the old lady's daughter out of the corner of my eye. She said that I would never make it and was stuck forever. I ignored her and boarded the first plane I saw. When it came time for the flotation device speech, I saw the flight attendant was the devil. He glared at me and I knew it was over.
posted by Ghengis @ 11:47 PM,
,
Lethargy
Sunday, November 28, 2004
Every last Thursday in November in America is a holiday called Thanksgiving. If you are either not from this country or if you have never seen a Hollywood movie, this is a day where we celebrate the triumph of capitalism over the Indian communists. When the English born Captain G.E. Sears took his first from his refurbished ocean liner, The Pinta, he set up oil rigs on New Amsterdam (now called New Jersey) . They used the oil to get through the long winter. Today we continue that tradition by using that same oil to make meats hot enough to eat. After participating in this tradition with our families, my roommates and I had the reenactment with our friends.
Two rules broken.
Make your peace.
Vegan nightmare.
One mess I did not mind cleaning up.
posted by Ghengis @ 9:25 PM,
,
Birth of a Costume
Monday, November 01, 2004
Here I am before my Halloween party. The party starts pretty soon, but I still have time to go for a bike ride!
Don't forget all of the reflective gear and tight shorts. Otherwise everyone will laugh at you.
Crossing the street without using the buddy system? Don't worry. I am a veteran at crossing streets. The only problem is that I forgot my gloves and my fingers are going to freeze.
Oh no! The wall jumped out in front of me and threw me off my bike! Worst of all, the wall pulled my shorts up while I was unconscious. I hope I can still make it to my own party!
This was my favorite biking outfit. Now it is ruined.
Soon, I was unconscious again.
Hours later I came to. I've got a splitting headache and somehow my gloves have magically returned! You might be asking yourself how a plastic reflector goes through someone's skull. You might also be asking why there would be a plastic relfector in a brick wall. If you keep asking these questions you might end up with one in your head too.
Luckily the the doctor said to take two of these and play beer pong and then call him in the morning. What could be better for severe blood loss than playing drinking games to take your mind off of it?
posted by Ghengis @ 11:43 PM,
,
