The Mongolians

Exercise, Subway, Roommates, Neighbors, and Politics (not really politics)

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It has been a half year since I have eaten a french fry. That's not a huge accomplishment, but my body is revolting. In this time I have had 3 dreams nightmares where I mindlessly consume some fries only to realize that I had forgotten about my new year's resolution. I think the dream Dan has a short memory for resolutions. Still, even though I cheat in my dreams, this is probably the longest running new year's resolution ever. Someone call Guinness.

The workers in the food processing plant in my belly are wishing they had it like they used to. They remember the good old times when their job was easy. When all of the food they had to process either went to the FAT loading dock or to WASTE in the dumpster out back. They used to say things like, "Man, I can't believe we get paid for this job."


The Boss.

The workers don't see those days very often anymore. I give them puzzles to work on the keep their minds frosty. Where they used to be working with putting square and triangle blocks through the appropriate hole, they now spend more time on that puzzle where you try to get two bent nails apart. (No, I've never swallowed a nail puzzle.) Whole wheats and complex carbohydrates require a bit more time and has to be sorted a bit further. We had to let a few people go because they did not pass the skills test on grain disassembly. I fear for anyone who has workers who regularly handle McDonald's food.

Every once and awhile the workers get a treat and are bathed in alcohol through the wee hours of the night. Being so small, the lightweight workers get drunk pretty quickly and want to go to bed. You can not imagine the rage of the workers at 4:00AM when they are woken up by a fresh shipment of Steak n Shake Frisco Melt. The team leader and I have had heated discussions about this and I have promised to reduce taking on extra jobs so late at night.

I always try to make sure that the workers wake up when I do. Breakfast is important because it gets them ready for the rest of the day's jobs. If you eat at random times during the day with no set schedule your workers will never be ready. My friend only eats one meal a day and it's usually a big meal of crappy processed food. He wonders why his stomach always hurts. Duh. His workers are on strike. The delivery truck drivers will not cross the picket line for fear of being cursed at or given the finger.

It feels really good to keep the workers happy. I run an incentive program for them. The worker who can turn out the most units gets a percent bonus package, 4 weeks vacation, and cake on my birthday (we all have the same birthday).

posted by Ghengis @ 11:36 PM, ,


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    I'm Ghengis From Mongolia I like climbing, hopping across rocks in running water, and becoming an old man who is worried about the lawn. I hope today is friday.
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