Trading Cards for Demon Children
Tuesday, May 08, 2007
Most of the neighborhood kids are nice and considerate and make it pleasant enough to live around them. However, they are slowly being indoctrinated by the demon child next door. I like being outside, but for some reason I am fascinating to the demon child and he needs to inquire about everything I am doing. The peacefulness of the outdoors has been ruined by, not the kid, but his lazy parents who can't entertain him or teach him simple things like to not leave his scooter in the middle of my grass while I am mowing and then watch me mow from the grass in front of me that I am about to chop down. And I bet I'd get in trouble if ran him over!
His parents have also failed to show him the episode of Sesame Street where Oscar gets increasingly annoyed with Elmo when he comes into his garage without asking and asks what every single tool hanging from the wall does.
Last week the demon child convinced one of the other neighbor kids to help him kill a bunny. His strict parents kept him grounded inside for half of a day before re-releasing him into the wild. It was a nice half day.
I only have so many excuses I can use to convince the demon child to do something else and temporarily return peacefulness to the neighborhood. Since kids love to collect worthless junk, I made a series of trading cards to start passing out to the pester demons (not the nice ones). Do not try to collect them all.
posted by Ghengis @ 9:48 PM,
2 Conflict(s):
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At May 10, 2007 at 7:09 PM,
has news of...
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I'm kicking myself for not remembering to keep up with this journal. These cards are awesome.
I'm unnoticed by the children in my neighborhood, cept for one mini-Trump, who believed that it was perfectly reasonable to mow a lawn several times weekly.
I will send him over to your neighborhood and he and the demon kids can dream up their own pyramid schemes and ritualistic sacrifice. -
At May 12, 2007 at 9:05 PM,
Ghengis has news of...
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Thanks.
When I was little the guy next door would always mow his lawn twice for some reason. He also whistled the Addams Family song while doing it.
Please do not send anyone to encourage the demon child.
