Unitary Resource Model
Tuesday, January 23, 2007
I am so relieved to find that Fox has written a letter to address American Muslims' fears regarding how difficult it is for the general public to discern between what they see on TV shows like 24 and what they see in real life, such as the grocery store. With all of that techno jargon like "re-boot the routers" and "send that to my PDA" combined the non-stop edge-of-your-seat action, sometimes I have trouble keeping up with what is fact and what is fiction.
Sometimes when I'm watching 24, on Monday nights at 9:00 Eastern, I see a house on the TV that looks like mine. My heart always skips a beat because I think that Jack Bauer may be battling terrorists directly outside of my front door and I will be able to invite him inside so he can climb around in my air ducts with a lamp cord where he lies in wait in order to jump out of the vent and shock the terrorist's nipples when the terrorist is trying to force me to give him the launch codes.
When I see my house on TV, I always scramble to the door and scream, "JACK! JACK! IN HERE JACK! LET ME HELP!" I check both sides of the house scrambling around in the snow wearing usually only a pair of shorts (standard 24 watching clothes). Sometimes I have socks on and they get all soaked and I have to do laundry a day early. My neighbor, Jack, always frantically runs over in a bath robe to see what the problem is this time. Stupid civilian. I have to tell him to "GET DOWN" because there are terrorists trying to blow up the neighborhood.By the time I get back inside the 24 TV window has changed to a picture of the president or a computer room and it is usually daylight on TV when it is night time at my house. Must be that Daylight Saving Time playing tricks on me again. I will have to wait until next time to play the hero.
I wish that other TV shows would come out with a fact/fiction guide so I can keep from embarrassing myself in public. One of my other favorite TV shows is Heroes. The other day on Heroes the Japanese guy used his mind to slow down time so he could steal a wooden sword from a museum. I immediately called Homeland Security to tell them what I had witnessed. I suggested that all Japanese people be rounded up and put in to camps until they can find all of the thieves. And guess what? They laughed at me!I explained that I am not racist. I know that not all Japanese people use their time stopping power to steal things. But, do you ever see other races stopping time to steal ancient relics? I think not. Who's going to be laughing the next time you're standing next to the Washington Monument or the Largest Ball of Twine when a Japanese guy walks up and all of the sudden - it's gone? I don't think that's very funny.
No one is going to be laughing when parents leave their children are mauled by the seemingly friendly big purple dinosaur. It won't be so funny if a child gets hepatitis from choosing to eat his pizza in the sewers and learning everything they know about fighting from the sewer's rat population. I think the last straw will be when massive overcrowding occurs in nursing homes across the nation as millions of old people put their hand over Pat Roberston's hand on the TV and then their care-giving adult children come home and find a hand print on the new plasma so they send grandma to the home.
Thank you 24 and Fox for helping us keep things in the correct perspectives. I hope other networks follow suit. Meanwhile, even though you are producing high quality TV entertainment, Discovery HD leads the pack with the best show on television.
Sunrise Earth
Pros: No Talking
Cons: Not on often enough
posted by Ghengis @ 5:24 PM,
