From the Tears of Newscasters
Thursday, December 21, 2006
It is about that time of year again where I whine and complain (hypocritically) about the news people whining and complaining about an inevitable yearly event. No, it is not a week long analytical media frenzy over the comments of a since forgotten celebrity or a rehashing of a completely pointless socio-economical political issue. It snows every year. It snows every year and the news can not help but to fall over each other to report each season as a national disaster.
I just saw Brian Williams portray Denver's blizzard as one of these disaster areas. The segment was played over horror movie music. It was the music that plays when something bad is about to happen. When the killer is sneaking up on one of the characters who was pegged to die from the start of the movie. They had a file footage clip of a woman with mascara running down her cheeks and pounding a jagged wooden door with both fists; screaming, "HELP HELP!".
When they returned to the live reporter he was holding a architect's T ruler. Standing on top of a snow drift he plunged the ruler into the drift and showed it to the camera. Now we had the proof of the depth of the snow drift. We could not take his word for how deep the snow plow had piled the snow on the side of the fucking road this morning.
Next the music took a dooming turn for the worse while they showed clips of people stuck at the airport. Smiling little girls to play forced to play Uno with each other; little kids napping on their parent's laps; and a woman who had nothing to eat but one of 20 different choices at the Chili's To-Go stand.They went on to show how horrible it was one of the storm victims to dig a car out from under the snow. The reporter held his distance while the man went to work. "The snow actually made the conscious decision to bury the car and freeze to encased it in ice and make this poor man's job more difficult," the reporter stated. But, even with the doomy music in the background, the man digging his car out still had a smile on his face. What a bastard he was for enjoying the worst thing to happen to anyone in the world ever. The reporter even went so far as to surmise that it was the President who caused this storm (just like he caused the hurricanes to attack the black people last year) because he is too old to ski anymore and wanted to ruin everyone's vacation who was young enough to still have the ability.
Meanwhile people like myself have to be relegated to the lunatic fringe for wanting, hoping, praying for snow for the last two months. Bring it over here in the part of the country that nobody cares about anyway.
Happy Christmas everybody.
posted by Ghengis @ 6:37 PM,
