Big News
Wednesday, January 17, 2007
They built a new gas station close to my house by the gym. This was pretty exciting for the neighborhood since the nearest gas station was formerly about a mile away. The neighborhood collectively celebrated by staying indoors and not talking to each other (except for the neighbor kid who says hi to me when I get home from work and wants to show me a stick he found on the ground).
The gas station has been open for a couple of weeks, but it looks like they are already having problems.The village to the North of our city is ruled by hillbillies. The gas station was strategically placed as a buffer between the city and the village. Rumor has it that someone from the city was trying to make the village people stop coming into the civilized area. That person told someone in the village that the gas was free at the new gas station.
The hillbillies came in droves to acquire the fuel owed to them. The gas station had to respond quickly and put up signs to make the hillbillies go away. The thinking was that credit cards make the hillbilly baby Jesus cry and since hillbillies don't have shoes they can't go inside of the store. This catch-22, however, was thwarted by the fact that hillbillies can't read.
The plan was a success when the road to the city was clogged with hillbilly cars and trucks waiting for the hillbillies who were trying to figure out how to make the gas come out. Some even tried to use their mouth to siphon it out.
For bonus points I had a great excuse for not going to the gym.
posted by Ghengis @ 10:43 PM,
