Sticker Shock
Tuesday, October 18, 2005
I've noticed that stores that still put sticker prices on their products are more likely to have higher prices on their goods. I went to the specialty shoe store to try to find something to put in my shoes to make them anti-foot damaging. The specialty salesman showed me something. It had a sticker on it that said $40. I told them I couldn't remember exactly what anti-damaging foot insert the doctor had suggested and I would return.
This was a lie. While I was at the specialty foot store and memorized the specialty foot product image in my head and looked it up on the internet. Sure enough, the same thing can be bought for $20 after shipping via faceless computer people who I will never meet. I feel kind of bad undercutting Mom and Pop like this, but if they can't find a way to compete in the public market then capitalism will surely fail.
They are building a Wal Mart about a block away from my house in a corner that is currently being used as a field for thistle plants and place to dump your dirt. It's not going to be close enough to interfere with property values or aesthetics of the neighborhood. At first I wasn't happy but now I really don't care. The only potential problem is a greater volume of traffic. I won't be shopping there anyway because I don't own any kids to beat in public, yet. I will make the sacrifice to drive an extra mile or two and shop at Meijer.
If you don't live within swatting distance of the mitt of the great state of Michigan, you may not know what Meijer is. Meijer is a 24-hour store similar to Wal Mart except it comes with a bit magic and sophistication. You are greeted at the door by a professional, off-duty clown. If you are lucky the clown will contort several long slender balloons into the shape of a shopping cart for you which is not only yours to place groceries and sundries into during your shopping experience, but also it is yours to keep if you can fit it in your vehicle. Nobody beats their kids at Meijer because there are No Beating Robots that patrol the store. The robots also retrieve products from high shelves for old ladies and catch shoplifters with their metal claws. Meijer has no sticker prices on their products so you can be sure of the best price possible.
I was using the U-Scan robot to check out my products on my own. Somehow one of the items was not scanned properly. In a feat of honesty I showed the girl at the U-Scan central command that I failed to pay for one of my items. She said I could go back, rescan it, and pay that way. When I went back to the robot I noticed a dollar sitting in the robot change slot. I had paid with credit card so I knew this wasn't mine. The previous U-Scan robot user was long gone. Was Karma paying in physical dividends?
Honesty hadn't lasted for very long. Since I had immediate use for it, I chose to use the forgotten dollar to aid in purchasing the previously unscanned product. I felt guilty for using money that wasn't mine to buy something so on my way out I found a charity in which to donate. I began feeding dollars into the robot lottery ticket machine.
The manager tracked me down in the process and wanted to thank me for being so honest and paying for something I could have stolen without punishment. I still felt guilty about the dollar so I took none of the credit. The manager insisted and wanted to reward me. The robot responsible was to be punished for allowing a scanning mistake to occur on its watch.
Be gentle.
All of the Meijer robots were forced to gather around and watch what happens when an error occurs among them. For the next few minutes I used the U-Scan robot to scan the previously unscanned product over and over, but never giving it the satisfaction of placing the product in a bag. The scene was horrific. One of the robots puked oil all over a rack of women's blouses.
That made me feel really bad since no one knew that I had taken the dollar out of the robot I was punishing. Overwhelmed, I threw the lottery tickets into the air and ran. If I see on the news that a robot won the lottery from a scratch off ticket, I will know that karma and I are finally even.
posted by Ghengis @ 11:24 PM,
2 Conflict(s):
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At October 22, 2005 at 9:49 PM,
has news of...
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You're a great writer with a fabulous wit. Thanks so much for sharing.
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At November 1, 2005 at 1:13 AM,
Ghengis has news of...
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Thank you.
