Everything is now Illegal
Wednesday, August 24, 2005
And I thought closing two bank accounts in one day and opening a new one with the freshly printed cashier's checks would put me on government watch lists. In order to curb this current ailment I tried to buy Sudafed in a town that was not my own. Now my apartment is on a methlab watch list. I'm sure the police have it wired up right now with patrols driving past every half hour. Too bad I don't live there anymore.
I imagine all of the other states had cold medicine laws a long time ago. I'm pretty sure my state was proud of the growing number of houses that explode due to methamphetamine production. We got us some inventive people right here. I think we're number one in do-it-yourself chemistry. You can find DIY books at Lowes.
However the do-it-yourself books are not on the shelves at Lowes. You have to find the shelf where the book would be located, take a card, and then take it to a responsible sales representative. They are easy to find because they are wearing backbraces. They will retrieve the book for you. You cannot directly buy from the shelf because you could take the books out of the store and tear to pages out and make paper airplanes and stand in front of schools in the morning and pass them out to kids so they can cause disruptions in class and Lowes would be held responsible for the child's detention time.
I think I contracted SARS this weekend - thus the need for the Sudafed. The house warming party was already planned and there was no emergency SARS contingency plan so everyone came over anyway. I was pleased to find that my friends wanted to help celebrate my purchase of a house and our passage into real old people adulthood by coming over and playing a teenage favorite called Edward 40 hands.
Bad Idea.
There was only a little bit of blood on the carpet the next morning so it was a pretty good party.
When asked my friend if she thought we kept the neighbors up, she replied, "I think God had to put in earplugs before getting any sleep that night."
posted by Ghengis @ 12:41 AM,
2 Conflict(s):
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At August 24, 2005 at 2:26 PM,
revidescent has news of...
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I see some bailys on the counter. Who was the lucky guy who got that instead of a 40?
I'm tried, and stuck at school right now. Is it wrong to nap in the library when you have free wireless?
Also, outside it is cattle herding day and all the kids who miss high school are lining up to try to pledge to a frat or sor. Moo. -
At August 25, 2005 at 10:31 PM,
Ghengis has news of...
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I'm not sure. I think it was here and there. I didn't have anything to drink because of the SARS. Hey remember the whole reason my arm fell off was because of SARS?
Enjoy every chance you get to take a nap while you're still in college. Are you ever going to be done?
