If it weren't for that Horse...
Tuesday, August 09, 2005
I was there anyway so I decided to order some food. Normally I see McDonald's as a place to use the bathroom - at par with a gas station. Those golden arches do not conjure up the traditional American images of french fries and tiny processed beef burger. Rather they serve as a visual laxative.
Hunger overtook me, however, and I rationalized a purchase at the lower end of the fast food totem with the mantra, 'They couldn't screw up a salad, could they?' With crispy chicken and ranch in tow, I made my way to a table to satisfy a craving. The term "crispy" must only be relative at Hamburger University. In fact, I had to go back up to retrieve a knife in order to finish cutting the rubber chicken patty which was only slightly perforated by the McChicken jockey.
It was bad. Ronald, I gave you a chance again but you did me wrong. The whole experience left me screaming, "How many corners do you have to cut to make lettuce and chicken taste horrible!?"
The McDonald's employees responded as one would expect when a customer becomes irate from poorly prepared food. Yes, they continued to mumble nonsense into their shirt collars while ignoring the world around them.
I've been trying to eat more vegetables lately. The fine ladies at Applebee's are aware of this fact because I call them from time to time on my way home. Since apple starts with an A, Applebee's is only 2 cell button presses and 15 minutes away from serving up a well-prepared, non-vulcanized salad.
Normally everything goes smoothly with the restaurant curb-side pickup. Pleasantries are exchanged such as, "Hey aren't you the freak that ordered here yesterday?" Yes, I haven't been to the grocery store in months.
The last time I picked up food this was written on my receipt:
That smiley face was drawn by a psychologist's dream patient.
The way I read it, this says, "Number sevens help us =)" I can't shake the thought that I may have misread this message though. Could the Applebee's girls have been sending a secret message? Were there 7 armed robbers in there and they needed help? Or was it an innocent message informing us that they were running desperately low on $7 bills?
Perhaps it was my 7th visit and they simply expressing appreciation. I am in the #7 Club. It is disturbing that they would keep track of that though.
I'll feel a lot better to find out that they were robbed. Otherwise this note is going to haunt me for the rest of my life.
posted by Ghengis @ 11:39 PM,
4 Conflict(s):
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At August 10, 2005 at 12:51 PM,
has news of...
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It is kind of obvious.
They have 7 employees that need saving from the corporate, food-preparation, maw of hell.
Help us basically means they're counting on you to come provide an escape.
The smily face indicates things are grim and you should come heavily armed. Do not be alarmed if they smile and pretend that they don't want to go with you. Specifically, make sure you grab the first 7 smiling employees and make them get in your car.
Then drive real FAST.
Oh, and taking care of 7 people is hard. So you might want to place an order there before you arrive, for enough food for all of them.
Hope this helps!
(take pix!) -
At August 12, 2005 at 4:30 PM,
My Life In Indiana has news of...
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hi dan. i'm at work and i'm freezing. i hope you have a nice weekend.
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At August 24, 2005 at 2:18 PM,
revidescent has news of...
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uhm, is that spam? ^^---
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At August 25, 2005 at 10:33 PM,
Ghengis has news of...
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If that is spam it sure is disguised as an exciting opportunity!
