Buy War Bonds
Thursday, August 04, 2005
It's been HOT out lately. Driving past a pizza shop I saw a sign that said, "Beat the heat! Try our Pizza Lunch Buffet!" Now I don't know what your definition of beating the heat is, but usually the last thing I want to do when it's 95 degrees outside is go inside an air conditioned building to clog my pores with mom and pop's grease pie. While piling each plate up to get your $5.99 worth, you have to keep in mind that you have to return to the summer swelter with the dough and cheese churning around in your stomach. Beat the heat!
Long ago, when I worked construction, one of the other workers swore by drinking hot drinks on hot days and cold drinks on cold days. "It gets you acclimated to the environment and you sweat less..." While he delivered his persuasive speech I snuck up behind him and pulled on his hair. His face tore away revealing the evil lizard man and 'sinister dictator', Cobra Commander. As it turns out, the bank building we were building was actually Cobra's newest staging grounds for launching their dastardly moon destroying device designed to stop the ocean tides so that Ship Wreak would lose track of time when laying out on the beach and get a killer sunburn. Somehow I knew there was a reason why my boss wouldn't let me work near the "elevator shaft".
Anyway, there were a lot of cars parked in front of the pizza buffet. The Beat the Heat sign must have been working. Why isn't everyone trying the 'beat the heat' ploy?
Bush: Beat the heat with the nomination of John Bolton!
Teacher: Beat the heat by taking turns having sex with your students!
NASA: Beat the heat by fixing the heat shield! (I hope it works)
I could be convinced to do anything if someone tells me it may temporarily cool off this summer heat.
Actually, I am fairly sure if the heat trick works, you can simply show a little bit of empathy and understanding and can convince people to do anything by playing on the desire for relief.
Depressed? Why not search for audio files on the internet?
Up to your eyeballs in debt? Jennifer Anniston is looking for a good man.
Having a bad hair day? Join the army!
Me and hundreds of thousands of guys agree. We wouldn't treat you like Brad did, baby.
As for Cobra Commander. You do not have anything to worry about. He is safely being held captive in my apartm- Uh oh. I now live in that house I bought.
We are not going to get our deposit back.
We are not going to get our deposit back.
posted by Ghengis @ 10:23 PM,
1 Conflict(s):
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At August 5, 2005 at 7:20 PM,
has news of...
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The school that the teacher who slept with her students is about 45 minutes from me... it just kills me that people around here don't seem that outraged. IT WAS A CATHOLIC SCHOOL!
