The Best Chili South of the Mason Dixon Jar
Friday, July 29, 2005
Hiring someone who enjoys looking at maps to do a job that involves using maps is like hiring a recovering alcoholic to deliver beer. Maybe each possesses an expertise in their respective fields, but no one should be allowed to enjoy their job too much.
At work I have plenty of legitimate reasons to use satellite map websites help with job functions. However, I usually end up wandering the globe a bit. The mountain ranges over China are not a part of my designated work area.
Sometimes when I'm in my office and I don't think my boss is around, I get on the internet and get lost in a world of satellite pictures. Unexpectedly, boss knocks on my door. "JUST A SECOND!" I cry as I try to close the window quickly but the computer has froze from all of the massive amounts of satellite data and the browser picture remains visible even after being closed. Boss walks in assuming he has been given enough time. In haste, I slap the power button on my monitor.
"You're just sitting here staring at a blank monitor?" Boss asks.
"I... I was looking at maps."
"Suuuure you were."
I was excited to find out that Microsoft had implemented something similar to Google's satellite maps and had been tooling around on there. But it seems like Google is still the one that has it figured out. Google's maps have more pictures and extends further out of the US borders with more detail. Plus I think Microsoft is adding green tint to all designated park areas. Either that or the cities have been painting all pavilion roofs green.
Bill Gates does not want you to leave the US to visit Casino Windsor.
Google wants you to gamble wherever you want as long as you're gambling somewhere.
One thing (this is where this post gets more exciting) I can't figure out is with all my daily dealings with maps and directions - I cannot, for the life of me, automatically identify East and West. North/South are second nature. For some reason I have to mentally orient myself to the North before I can begin to identify the E/W directions. Everyday, it makes me feel like a child that is trying to learn that someone's right arm is on your left side when you are facing them.
You could tie me up, throw me in the trunk of your car, drive 100 miles down the most sinuous of roads, drive into a cave, blow up the cave's only exit with C4 explosives, light a fire and let it suck up most of the ambient cave oxygen, then pull me out of the trunk and set me down on a nice cave rock and ask me to immediately identify North - I'd nail it every time. If you asked about East I'd have to respectfully tell you to go screw yourself. I just hope getting the right answer will make you release me so I can sue for kidnapping.
Aside from the obvious, the only reason I can come up with is that I grew up on a N/S running street. I can only speak for myself, however. Do people who grew up on an E/W running road have a greater mastery of the horizontal directions? I don't think scientists have wasted millions of dollars studying this yet. Also, do children of army parents who moved all the time have no sense of direction? Does growing up on a curvey road make you walk crooked?
If not I suppose it's that up and down are more apparently opposite than left and right. If no one knows what I'm talking about we could also assume that only half of my brain has developed.
Any input on this will go towards your satisfaction of knowing you contributed to this yet-to-be million dollar study.
posted by Ghengis @ 12:02 AM,
2 Conflict(s):
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At July 29, 2005 at 9:13 PM,
has news of...
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I grew up on an East West running street, but I have to find North then think (Never Eat Shredded Wheat) to find the rest of the directions... :) Look Ma! I did learn something in Girl Scouts...
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At August 4, 2005 at 11:53 PM,
Ghengis has news of...
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I'm pretty sure if you know where you are, you know where something else is, and you know which direction you are heading, you can find anything.
