Looks like we're gonna need a Forklift
Thursday, July 14, 2005
Over the years everyone has received an AOL starter CD in the mailbox. I've always either ignored them or used them as frisbees. Other people have found different uses. Some people get physically angry when they see an offering for a product they don't want. That's probably misguided rage that would be better directed at your girlfriend or dog because if mail makes you mad you've got other problems. Regardless of your opinion, I think we can all agree that the packaging for these things have gotten ridiculous.
Actual meeting in an AOL boardroom:
CEO: Listen guys, our new sign-ups are in the toilet. We need ideas and we need them now as to how to trick people into joining our service.
Lackey #1: Lets mail out CDs glued to a little piece of cardboard and we'll use that kind of glue on it that kids can peel off and play with while they search through their mom's purse for her credit card. We can mail millions of these.
Lackey #2: I have a better idea. Lets mail the CDs out in a little metal tin. It will make people think of getting a tin of cookies like those hard buttered Danish cookies that taste like crap except for the kind with the strawberry jelly in the middle.
Lackey #1: Oh good idea. Maybe we should put jelly in our CDs!
Lackey #3: Gentlemen! Gentlemen! What we need is to put our CD in a DVD box! If people think they're getting a DVD in the mail for free, they will feel obligated to anyone who sent them the DVD! Plus, people are stupid crazy for big things!
CEO: {Jumps out the window}
The bigger they are, the harder it is to get mad.
It wasn't until after I threw this CD in the trash that I noticed that I had a bunch of oversized coupons also sitting on my desk. Everyone is going big!
I don't even know where Bed Bath & Beyond is, but they really must think I stink.
I have these giant coupons floating around everywhere. It's nice that I can leave the Lowe's coupons on the passenger seat in my car just in case I need to buy house supplies when I'm out doing other things. The great thing is that it's large enough that I can use it to cover the windshield when I leave the car so it doesn't get the dashboard all hot.
Without that duality it may be difficult to decide when such a coupon is needed. After all, one cannot always carry around a 10"x5" post card in their wallet or pocket for impromptu shopping... or can they?
Gratuitous butt shot.
If this stairstepping trend of being the largest advertiser continues, soon we are going to have to hire people to carry our discount cards to the store with us... thus negating the coupon's value altogether. The Postal Service will have to begin watching the Strongest Man competition on ESPN 2 to find new mail carriers.
Mail Carrying is the spectator sport of the future.
posted by Ghengis @ 12:50 AM,
4 Conflict(s):
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At July 14, 2005 at 1:57 PM,
topavia has news of...
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look at you, paving the way for butt shots... nice job.
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At July 15, 2005 at 11:50 PM,
Ghengis has news of...
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It's hard to not look at someone's butt when they have coupons hanging out of it.
Do you think everyone is going to start posting butt shots now? -
At July 18, 2005 at 10:13 PM,
Ghengis has news of...
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Thanks. I hope you come back to see that I thanked you.
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At July 25, 2005 at 8:22 AM,
has news of...
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nice butt! where is my post card that i won from that change guessing contest.. i feel cheated... now u must pay me greatly!
Vanessa
