Cart Vigilante
Wednesday, March 08, 2006
Pulling up into the Lowes parking lot I spied a woman loading up her car with her giant hardware store purchases. Upon finishing the loading procedure the woman proceeded to enter her car and start the engine, leaving her cart free to meander the parking lot like 1980's robot that was recently hit by lightning.
Coincidently I had parked next to this Mrs. Negligence and was not going to let her crime go unpunished. I kindly pushed the offending cart the entire two parking spaces towards the cart corral. The corral was in the opposite direction of the store and my contrary-to-the-norm movement attracted the attention of the criminal.
Merely a suggestion.
The woman halted her SUV in front of the cart corral and gawked with her cow eyes. The SUV was positioned in such a way that the cart would barely fit between the corral or the vehicle. I played Operation when I was little but I never owned it. We had to go across the street to bad influence kid's house to play. My mom wouldn't buy it because she thought I would try to remove the bones from other children when I was on our blacktop playground for recess.
Now I was forced to heave the cart over the corral railings and slam it down into place where it belongs. Lowes' carts are heavy. Still angry, I glanced at the offending woman to see if she appreciated the fact that I did her job for her. She showed her thanks by holding up one of her fingers for me to see. I considered thanking her in kind but instead walked towards the store shaking my head.
Have we really gotten to the point where we need either Human Consideration Laws or some kind of The More You
When I am president every cart will be corralled, no one will ever cruise in the left lane, and no toilet seat will be left up (to get the female vote) - because the offending party will automatically get life in prison with no chance of parole. However an inmate will have an excellent chance of being bumped up to the death penalty if they violate the Consideration Laws while in jail.
This is what you asked for.
posted by Ghengis @ 9:12 PM,
