OCD Induced Rage
Friday, August 13, 2004
This year I began carrying dog biscuits with me. I keep one in my right pocket so it will be warm because dogs probably do not get a hot meal very often. I believe in letting people make their own choices and the same thing goes for man's best friend. I still carry the dog spray just in case but I offer the dogs a choice if they start screaming at me. Ok Rover, what's it going to be? The left pocket or the right?
They always answer by yelling "RIGHT RIGHT RIGHT!" I keep my keys in my right pocket too, so one of these times I'm going to accidentally throw the keys at the dog and make it mad by poking it in the nose and tricking it into thinking that sharp pieces of metal are good to eat. Once I get the dog mad it is hard to regain its trust with soothing words or promises of extra Christmas presents so I'll finally have to squirt him in the eyes so he can't see when I steal my keys out of his mouth. I just hope he does not dodge the spray and sprint around me and steal my truck because that would be a really awkward conversation to have with the police and my boss.
posted by Ghengis @ 5:39 PM,
1 Conflict(s):
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At August 23, 2004 at 5:41 PM,
Envoy-ette has news of...
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LOL I am sooo laughing right now! THANKS
