Sorry for all of that Killing
Friday, June 11, 2004
I forgot to mention that I killed Brad Pitt earlier this week. I had a dream that the gas company sent me to do my first job and it was to kill Achilles from the movie Troy because he was doing some menacing things to the gas pipes. First we were fighting in the tree tops. I jabbed at him with a stick and then jumped at him, pushing him off into a deep ditch.
We thought the fall killed him so everyone was celebrating another triumphant company assassination. They made me feel like a Made Man. However, I saw him wriggling from the tree so I didn't think he was gone yet. Sure enough he came walking up the ditch but I was too quick for him and I stabbed him in the chest - giving a new name to a body part, The Achilles Chest Tendon.
I felt pretty bad about it after I did it. I had never killed anyone in a dream before. Plus, I know that if you kill someone in a dream that no one can ever have a dream about that person again unless it is about their grave stone and I know Brad Pitt was some women's favorite person to dream about - so like I said, I'm sorry.
It's ok though. Revenge was knocking on the door of the exam room when I got my physical yesterday. The doctor that saw me was a certifiable serial killer. Extra large glasses and long hair, this short man moved deliberatly in short bursts that scared the bejesus about of me. When he went to check my lymph nodes he swooped in behind me and squeezed my neck. I knew it was over then unless I acted.
I laughed. It was a church-laugh that you are trying to hold back but can't so the pressure behind it was great. He released his hands in response. I wanted to ask him which serial killer he reminded me of. Most of the big time killers were before my time like Dahmer and Manson so I get them confused sometimes.
Later in the exam he wanted to know what was so funny. I played dumb and told him I thought that he said to turn my head and laugh.
posted by Ghengis @ 12:36 PM,
