Shaking my Fist at the Bus
Monday, February 28, 2005
Sorry I have not been active on here. Last week I was away on a business trip. I told my parent's dog to update my weblog as necessary but she wanted to update every time she did a different trick for a treat. I failed to explain that we don't update every 10 minutes when a new thought comes into our heads. I think my dog must be in high school.
So coincidently the conference was at my old college. It was nice to get back and hang around with some people I know. You really don't get the college feeling being there only on the weekends. You really have to get drunk during the week to really remember what it's like.
The people at the conference were everywhere from 20 to 80 years old. When we had a break some of the guys would go out and smoke wearing lecherous grins when young coeds walk by. They would also stand around talking about work and things they learned at their respective classes during the day. I didn't get away from work to talk about it so I spent a lot of time walking around campus, hitting the old stomping grounds, whatever that means.
This is when I got to reminisce about all of the things that I hated about college. I think I could make quiet a bit of money spending all day hanging out by the handicapped automatic door openers. It's not Star Trek people! You look at your feet and if they are moving and not immobilized in a metal wheel contraption, then you push on the door instead of the blue handicap button.
If it's going to be such a hassle.
I'd spend all of my time hanging out in different buildings, you know, in a leather jacket, leaning up against the wall, looking all cool, saying sup to all the people that use the door the right way. When someone would push the button who was not in a wheelchair I would slam it back into their face and scream, "Try again!" If they got defiant about it I would tell them it makes their ass a little bit fatter each time they push it. I don't know who would not immediately whip out $10 for this life-altering advice.
Actually, they should wire them up to shock anyone who touches it that isn't in a wheelchair. Someone in a wheelchair should have insulated wheels that wouldn't ground out a circuit. Someone with thin soled shoes on might get a nasty sting. Of course I wouldn't be surprised to see people wearing heavy rubber dielectric boots... or just hit the button with their books. Having a puddle of water around the buttons will help a little.
The upside to this is I get to be at college all of the time and use my money to get drunk every night and sleep in a parking garage. The downside is that I'd probably have to quit my job. If I ever wanted to get back into the working world I might have a little trouble convincing an interviewer that I was making a difference and have not lost my mind.
So, I see that you quit a really nice engineering job to, heh, I'm sorry. Am I reading this right? To become a vigilante?
Yes. That is correct. It saved the University pennies every day on operating costs, increased job satisfaction, and additional generic interview keyword too.
You are hired!
Does vigilante look good on a resume?
posted by Ghengis @ 10:29 PM,
4 Conflict(s):
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At March 1, 2005 at 2:26 AM,
mAtt has news of...
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recently my old college built a fully functional english-style pub on campus. I found out about it in the local papers; I later did some research and found it made it to the news on the other side of the country.
why didn't this happen when it could have done me some good somehow?
bah, these kids nowadays with their 'pubs' and their 'ska' and their 'inter-nets' and their 'baggy pants.' no good will come of it. -
At March 1, 2005 at 10:18 PM,
Ghengis has news of...
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I wish there were more places to go to get warm dark beer around here.
Kids! -
At March 2, 2005 at 10:36 AM,
has news of...
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re: that image, yes, people do read and care about this journal *shakes fist*
re: the image on my site. sorry dan, but i had to. want one of me to abuse? -
At March 10, 2005 at 1:06 AM,
Louise Allana has news of...
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oh no. did you get in trouble?
