Memory Foaming at the Mouth
Saturday, June 03, 2006
In an ongoing effort to improve my back, which was slightly rearranged about a year ago, I decided to buy a memory foam mattress topper. The picture on the box showed a woman who was obviously very pleased to be sleeping on her foam mattress. I do not think she was really sleeping though. When you're sleeping you lack the ability to intentionally display emotion. If the woman had really be sleeping we would have seen a picture more like this.
Get out of my head!
A more apt name for this material is nightmare foam. Through week's experience with this foam I have had deep REM dreams every night. None of them have been a nightmare, per se, but any dream like the ones I have had are on the cusp forcing me to wake in a cold sweat. I have battled an army of armor clad midgets, hid in a cave in Iraq where I shot missiles out of an ink pen, lost a game of ladder golf in my front yard, walked up a flight of stairs standing on a ladder like a pair of stilts where I saw Neil and said asked him how he was doing before waddling up the stairs, and held on to a long rope tethered to an unpiloted jet that thrashed me around in the sky until it crashed into my old high school. Nightmare foam definitely causes deep sleep but at what cost?
Actually, for the longest time I thought that the point of memory foam is that it would sink in and remember what was placed on it.
That didn't make a lot of sense to me but I never gave it very much thought. I did think that the only practical application would be if you ever come up missing they could pour plaster into your mattress and recreate a model of you that they will show to a team of bloodhounds who will be able to scour the city for you and drag you home. You could also pour plaster into your hand imprint and make a great keepsake ornament to give to dad for father's day.All of these fears and conjectures are wrong though. Memory foam is the miracle cure for back pain and has earned the top honor of 4 shrugs.
posted by Ghengis @ 11:13 AM,
2 Conflict(s):
-
At June 4, 2006 at 12:07 AM,
My Life In Indiana has news of...
-
Ladder Golf.
Huh.
Today my parents and I drove past some tourists playing some sort of game. We looked at each other and shrugged, figuring it'd be introduced in this remote location in another decade or so.
Apparently it was ladder golf. At least it has a name now.
Every summer city tourists always try to introduce civilization, emerald ash borer and an even larger Wal-mart to the area. So far they've only succeeded with the last one. I think people are still trying to figure out regular golf up here because they keep losing their balls in the snow.
Have a good weekend! -
At June 7, 2006 at 11:58 PM,
nmrboy has news of...
-
um..
you guys should get out more. um.. when asleep, that is. i have no idea how that would work. anyway.
n.
